Christmas Music, u can haz it now

I've always been soothed by the glow of mini Christmas lights. I am uplifted and soothed by Christmas music. The holiday standards reach deep to instill peace and cheer me up, no matter how frazzled or grumpy I was. I associate Christmas music with contentment.

I have wondered for quite a while why they have such an intense effect on me.

During a conversation with my mom this year, talking about nursing babies, she told me (for the half a dozenth time) how she had nursed me for about 2 months before switching to formula. She stopped partially because she wanted to attend a party - presumably with some champagne to ring in the new year.

Suddenly, it hit me. During very first part of my life, when I was still waking in the night, and was being nurtured most intimately by my mother, she was taking me out to the rocking chair in the living room, with the Christmas tree lights on. She would have had Christmas music on constantly throughout the day starting right after Thanksgiving (that has always been Dad's "rule", to keep the music special by limiting when it's played) - two weeks after I was born. The music would have stopped, and the lights came down, at the same time that she stopped nursing me.

What more logical reason for me to associate those things with peace, happiness, and contentment?

We put up our tree this weekend. R and I will be basking in its light, Christmas songs our lullabyes, as we snuggle this month. We've started a little late, but maybe I can give her the same anchor of happiness and peace that I've had my whole life.

I hope so.

Graceling

I started a new book: Graceling, by Kristin Cashore.

I googled her first name to type this post (if you're reading this Kristin pleeeeeeease don't be offended, it's the last name I had to know to find your sequel here at B&N where I'm typing this), and I found she has a blog, so WOO HOO!

< follow button ... clicked!>


I found Graceling at my local Half Price Books during my birthday shopping spree. I had never heard of it before, but the cover art caught my attention. (Yes, I do judge books by their covers.) Actually, it wasn't so much the art - it's just a sword with a person reflected in it - as the name, and the overall FEEL of the art, that made an impression on me.

When we were about to check out, I showed Col all the books I wanted - ones I had been looking for, a couple for J, and then Graceling. It is hardcover, so even at half price it was the most expensive book in my pile. I totaled everything up, and told Col that these were the books I had to have, and this one would bring the total to X and I would like to have it if that was within our budget. I don't think it was, but he agreed anyway.

Lucky me.

I hate writing up summaries of books - I'd much rather just copy it from the inside front cover - but the short version is simply that some people in the book have special talents, called Graces. A Grace may not be useful (one that was mentioned was climbing trees) or unusual (I might know some people in real life who have a Grace for cooking!), but then again, it may be both - like reading minds, for example. A cool side note is that you know when a child is Graced because his eyes, at some point after birth/in childhood, settle into two different colors.

Another thing I hate is describing why I like a book. The problem is, when I read, I'm so deep inside the book that I am not analyzing how it is written, or how the dialogue flows, and once it's over, I'm thinking about the relationships and plot points as if they are my own memories, not as character sheets and plot outlines.

Besides, in this case I haven't even finished it yet (I just started it yesterday), but I just HAD to find out if there is a sequel (not exactly, but there is one companion book already and one on the way). Sometimes a book just HITS you the right way, and this is one of those.

I think my Grace is the ability to find amazing books, sometimes without even reading the back or inside front cover text. Too bad my eyes haven't settled yet... ;)

The Bleak Blackness of the Dark Side

Star Wars Fans: If you don't understand that reference - not just about the Dark Side referring to Star Wars, but the specific quote that makes up my post title - you need to head over to Sequential Pictures and watch the movie I linked there. (He made it before Episode 3 actually came out.) It is at least as quotable as Princess Bride.

Anyhow, I used the reference because it's Black Friday. And it has been pretty bleak over here. Col and I went to bed about 12:30, planning for him to get up at 2am to order some items from Walmart's Black Friday sale (yay for site to store!), and me to get up at 4:30 to head over to Babies R Us.

Not only could I not fall asleep, but poor J is dealing with a cold and a molar and so he woke us up 3-4 times before 2am came around. Col had some trouble with the Walmart site (the stuff didn't actually go on sale until 3am CST even though it said 3am EST) and had to wake me up to ask some questions. J woke up some more. R woke up the last time, a little after 4, so I fed her and handed her off to Col, and headed out.

I actually finished this post and when I tried to publish it, Blogspot ate it. So now I'm finishing it again.

Anyhow, I got to Babies R Us 5 minutes before they opened, and made stops at five other stores - getting just one or two things at each store. I was home by 7:30 and got to sleep until 9:30, then got up and we had to clean the house for my FIL, who was coming for dinner at 5pm. We got everything done just in time. Dinner was great, and I made it all the way to 9pm before I crashed.

It was a pretty rough day, but as usual, there was a lot to be thankful for:

-I got every Black Friday item that I went out for, and with a minimum of waiting outside stores (I waited for three stores to open, about 5 minutes each, at 5, 6, and 7) and no competition for what I was picking up!
-PEANUT BUTTER PIE. I made it. We ate it. We forgot to eat it after dinner, so we sent a tiny (by request) sliver home with the FIL, and by the next morning half the pie was gone, between me and Col. NOMNOMNOM.
-My little Kibwana did an awesome job of distracting his grandfather from any offensive topics. In fact, he completely wrapped Papa around his little finger: ever since J was born, Papa had been doing his fancy trick of wiggling his ears. J noticed for the first time today, and actually requested him to do it again: Beece, beece (please), baba (papa), eeoo (ear), nee (again).  He has been doing a lot of this multi word communication - not sentences, exactly, but once he has your attention he'll progress to the next concept until you get it, and then move on again. So Papa was completely melted by the end of the night.
-Did I mention the PIE?!
-and just for the record, I had Col home for FOUR WHOLE DAYS and I got to go in to work on Thanksgiving and log some hours, and I am writing this (over again) while sitting in a Starbucks attached to a Barnes and Noble, with no children.

This is the part where you faint because you're so impressed/happy for me.

More soon!

Giving Thanks

As much as I have complained and fretted in this space, I'm thankful.

I'm thankful to have two healthy children. I'm thankful they usually let me sleep through the night. I'm thankful that J is pretty much the cutest little boy on the planet, and I love it when people stop me in the store to tell me so. I'm thankful to have a son and I love seeing all the "boy-ness" that was inborn in him (because I sure didn't teach him to love balls and trucks and airplanes and climbing on things and being wild)! I am thankful that he is easy to please and that I get to watch him experience the world all new.

I'm thankful that R is feeling so much better now than those first few weeks. I love watching her snuggle up to sleep, and her smile lights up my own. I'm thankful to have a daughter and look forward to living through all the girly things life has to offer.

I'm thankful to have two healthy stepdaughters and a chance to see them sometimes. If we are limited in the time we get to spend with them, I am thankful at least that when I first moved to Texas was when we got the most time together (5 days a week), and that shaped our perceptions of each other. I'm thankful that M loves her dad so much she tries to be like him, and practices to be a cook and a writer. I'm thankful that L is awesome at playing with J and enjoys him. And I never thought, in 2006, that I would say this, but am glad that we don't have them 100% of the time, giving us all a break from one another during these preteen and (and now teen) frustrations, and making it more exciting when we are together.

I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful that I found someone attractive and affectionate. I'm thankful that he helps out sometimes with the kids, and that he cares about them. I'm thankful that he is smart enough, and willing, to have an intellectual conversation or one about deep things. I am thankful that although we have had some rough patches, we are getting better at dealing with them and better at dealing with one another.

I'm thankful for my online friends, who amuse me, support me, and give me a way to be useful and part of a community even when I'm sort of secluded in my house.

I'm thankful for my nice neighbors.

I'm thankful for my house, old creaky cracking leaky bits notwithstanding.

I'm thankful for my own health, for my wonderful parents, for all the awesome memories I have from my childhood and teen years. I miss Michigan but I am thankful to have found my wonderful husband here in north Dallas, which is an awesome place to live.

I have a lot to BE thankful for, and I am.

Operation Christmas Child

I coincidentally chose to write about something cool and then realized I ought to link it up with DiaperDiaries' Things I Love Thursday. I wrote it on Wednesday, but it's still a Thing I Love :) Check out what other people love this week:

This week is the national collection week for Operation Christmas Child. (Click that link to read an article; click the video to see a list of videos - I recommend the Oksana Nelson video) What an awesome way to prepare for the holidays.

It's so simple: take a shoebox, pick a gender and age group (2-4, 5-9, 10-13), and fill the shoebox with gifts that would make a child happy: clothes, toys, school supplies, hygiene items. (New things, not used. These are Christmas gifts!) Samaritan's Purse collects the shoeboxes (and a $7 donation per box, to cover the cost of the delivery, since they are nonprofit) and delivers them to underprivileged kids around the world.

The lady at the Dollar Tree told me, as I was checking out, that they've had a HUGE rush of customers in the past week, and it makes sense.

I could spend $18 on one new-in-the-box Barbie at Walmart, or I could take that $18 and completely fill a box:

• a baby doll
• three outfits for the doll
• a "magic" bottle
• a harmonica
• 100 barrettes
• a toothbrush
• two bars of hypoallergenic soap
• a brush
• a little plastic lizard
• a fuzzy slap bracelet
• and a pack of washable markers (because crayons could melt if it was going to a hot climate)

(all from the dollar store), and from the clearance rack at Walmart

• a [well made, colorful, and CUTE] shirt
• matching jumper
• and matching leggings.

The most expensive thing I bought was a pack of new socks for $5. I mention what I spent on this not to show off how cheap I am but to show that even though we don't have money to spare, I can make Christmas unforgettably wonderful for some little girl. Some girl who may have never gotten a gift for Christmas before. Who may have lost everything she owned. I was able to stuff a box to bursting with gift, after gift, after gift - to make her feel pretty, to keep her healthy, and to give her something to cherish and play with.

For $30.

I can DO this.

Video: Boy dances and yells in jubilation

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You can do it too. Collection week goes through November 23rd, but they also have a mailing address where you can send boxes all throughout the season - and even throughout the year. Click the link at the top of this post to learn what is and isn't desired in the boxes, find a collection location near you, or, if you're just rolling in the dough and don't know what a kid would like, make a donation to cover shipping costs for people who can't afford the box-shipping-donation.

Happy Birthday to M

I first met her in early 2005. She thought I was a highschooler (common mistake, but I was 25 at the time). We played soccer in their back yard - now my back yard. You'd never have suspected that the sweet chubby girl- healthy as a horse- had been a preemie, spent a month in the NICU. She weighed three pounds five ounces. She was only 16 inches long. They had to buy doll clothes for her to wear.

2006

2007

2008

2009

This year, she is a teenager. She's almost as tall as me - within an inch. She has thick hair that is slowly turning from blond to brown, like her Daddy's. She loves to write. She would love to be a professional chef. The world wouldn't be the same without her.

She was a preemie. The March of Dimes just happened to designate her birthday, November 17th, as Prematurity Awareness Day. If you click on the March of Dimes banner on this page, it will take you to a March of Dimes site where you can learn more about premature births and what the March of Dimes is doing to help - and prevent - premature babies, so the world doesn't have to do without them.

NaBloPoMo FAIL. And Not Me Monday

Not Me! Monday is a blog carnival started by MckMama; a way to admit our faults while not admitting anything. Click the link above or the box below to see everyone else's non-confessions.



Ahem. It was definitely NOT ME that forgot to post yesterday, thus failing at my NaBloPoMo pledge. Yesterday's post must be... um.... invisible. That's it. Also? I am sure that if you looked online you would not see ANY blog comments or tweets from me, because I certainly did NOT spend a couple hours online without doing my own post. Ahem.

Also I did NOT polish off an entire apple pie (with Col's help) in 24 hours. I especially did NOT eat a bunch of peanut M&Ms to tide myself over while craving that pie in the afternoon, knowing that I would be finishing said pie this evening with Col. I would never double up on sugar and calories that irresponsibly. I also wouldn't eat M&Ms that had been bought specifically as potty training rewards for J, rationalizing that we haven't been trying that hard at the potty training anyway because he doesn't seem very ready, and I could always get more later.

On Saturday, Col organized a trip to the mall. It wasn't until he stopped at the gas station on the corner that I realized he wanted to go to the Upscale Mall in the Big City, rather than our local mall. I am an empowered, mature individual who is more than what she appears. I would NOT stew at the gas station, to then blurt out asking Col to drive back home so I could change clothes. I would never get my panties in a bunch over the way snobs working at Macy's or Nordstrom's or Banana Republic sneer at me as if I'm not good enough to be in their store, and besides, I never go out in velour trackpants and an oversized, ragged t-shirt, so why would they sneer?

Then, if I WAS running back into the house to "change my shirt", I am sure I didn't change my entire outfit (including some uncomfortable but cool looking jeans) or re-brush my hair, and I since I don't WEAR makeup, I absolutely did not, after Col threw out the suggestion mockingly, throw on some eye makeup and bring some lipstick with me in my purse.

AND IF I HAD, Col totally would NOT have COMPLETELY FAILED to notice the makeup AND completely failed to compliment my new outfit.

Hmph. ;)