That's it. The mirena is coming out. Just to document it:
-mood swings, especially not being able to control my temper.
-anxiety, paranoia/persecution complex
-intense, unexplained back pain in the kidney area for days on end, but with normal kidney function, only to have it suddenly go away
-bloating... looking 4 months pregnant all the stinking time.
-no energy
-not able to get to sleep at night
-not sleeping well once i do get to sleep
-no sex drive AT.ALL.
-mild cramps for 1-2 days after every time having sex, sometimes with spotting
-stressed all the time
-craving sweets constantly, but having no appetite otherwise
-hot flashes
-increased hair growth including facial hair
-breast tenderness
-cycles where i have headaches every day at the same time for a week
and the kicker....
-cramps, probably 7 out of a 1-10 pain scale for 2-4 days a month - when the most important reason to choose hormonal birth control (rather than, say, barrier or a copper IUD) was that I normally have extremely painful periods (1 day of extreme, 9-10 level pain if unmedicated, or kept to 7-8 level pain if I take some Aleve as soon as i know i've started)
with Kibwana, my pregnancy weight fell right off (it was mainly water weight/edema there at the end) and through my first trimester with the Runt, I was only 5-10 lbs above my pre-preg-with-J-weight. With the Runt, it fell off until I got the mirena put in, at which point it crept back up. I am currently <10 above="" activity="" after="" am="" at="" away="" both="" br="" final="" from="" giving-birth="" having="" i="" j.="" kids.="" level="" my="" of="" or="" pounds="" pregnancy="" slightly="" the="" was="" weights="" with="">
also, incidentally, after googling mirena symptoms, some other things i didn't consider have been brought to light; estrogen imbalances have been implicated in bone loss. After having insanely healthy teeth my whole life even when they were being abused/mistreated (ie not brushing for weeks at a time), i'm suddenly having toothaches and gum decay lately.
Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. Hopefully after this is out, I'll be able to resume being my real self again.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Meet the Hobbit
She loves shells and leaves. She ignores toys to ask for the bowl of shells on the shelf. She climbs out of the baby pool, or over our garden retaining "wall", to get a leaf.
She likes to be coy with Daddy, putting one cheek to her shoulder and looking up at him sidewise.
In the mornings when she wakes up, as soon as I pick her up, she starts pointing toward Kibwana's bedroom door. When we reach it, she starts bouncing, and then she's squealing and leaning forward in my arms to peek through the crack before I can get it open far enough to walk through, craning for her first glimpse of her brother.
She can walk 7-8 steps at a time, but usually sticks to 2 or 3 before sitting down. I told that to the daycare lady during our visit, and the Runt chose that moment to walk across the room. And did it twice more before we left. Figures.
She is full of drama. This is one child who will not cry it out - she escalates, instead!
Kibwana, in his terrible twos, has been copying Mommy's tone of voice lately: "I. Want. Out. Of. The. Car. NOW!" His spankings notwithstanding, Kibeti seems to think it's a good idea, and has taken to using that tone with me when I make her lie down for a diaper change. "Ya na YAYA nyah OCK!"... complete with fist slamming on the changing table for emphasis. Oohhhhhh boy.
She has over a dozen words, signs, and sounds. She says daw for dog, dah for Daddy, da-da for Kibwana, joosh (juice), ba (bottle), buh (up), naaaaaaaaa naaaaaaa in a singsong voice for night-night, sshhhh for sheep and shell, mama, dat and diss (that, this), and she signs food, more, change (sometimes), bottle, tree, fan, and light. She waves hello and goodbye. She likes to moo and woof and grrr, sometimes remembers elephant noises and crocodile mouth (chomping mouth). I can never catch her saying her version of uh-oh, which is more like a very breathy hah huhhhhhhh.
When it's time to go to bed, she doesn't want to be held in the normal cradling position. She wants to sit on my lap and lean her head back on me, or sit facing me and fold herself in half to lay forward on my chest. The latter is popular lately, because it means she can more easily beep my nose, do "bonk" (gentle headbump that serves as a hug), or give slobbery kisses. She likes being tickle-kissed on the collarbone, and will do all these things and get totally giggly... and then go directly to sleep as soon as I put her down.
Her hair is completely insane and hangs down past her nose in the front while being short in the back. The back and sides rubbed off and made bald patches before she could roll over, and have just recently grown in properly, while the stuff on top has been growing since she was born. (Reverse mullet!) Still, I could not bear to cut it! It makes the best pigtails!
(Note, at the time when I tell her "don't eat it", she's actually giving it kisses.)
Video below is a bit longer (2m), but really silly. "Nom non nom" = fooooood!
She likes to be coy with Daddy, putting one cheek to her shoulder and looking up at him sidewise.
In the mornings when she wakes up, as soon as I pick her up, she starts pointing toward Kibwana's bedroom door. When we reach it, she starts bouncing, and then she's squealing and leaning forward in my arms to peek through the crack before I can get it open far enough to walk through, craning for her first glimpse of her brother.
She can walk 7-8 steps at a time, but usually sticks to 2 or 3 before sitting down. I told that to the daycare lady during our visit, and the Runt chose that moment to walk across the room. And did it twice more before we left. Figures.
She is full of drama. This is one child who will not cry it out - she escalates, instead!
Kibwana, in his terrible twos, has been copying Mommy's tone of voice lately: "I. Want. Out. Of. The. Car. NOW!" His spankings notwithstanding, Kibeti seems to think it's a good idea, and has taken to using that tone with me when I make her lie down for a diaper change. "Ya na YAYA nyah OCK!"... complete with fist slamming on the changing table for emphasis. Oohhhhhh boy.
She has over a dozen words, signs, and sounds. She says daw for dog, dah for Daddy, da-da for Kibwana, joosh (juice), ba (bottle), buh (up), naaaaaaaaa naaaaaaa in a singsong voice for night-night, sshhhh for sheep and shell, mama, dat and diss (that, this), and she signs food, more, change (sometimes), bottle, tree, fan, and light. She waves hello and goodbye. She likes to moo and woof and grrr, sometimes remembers elephant noises and crocodile mouth (chomping mouth). I can never catch her saying her version of uh-oh, which is more like a very breathy hah huhhhhhhh.
When it's time to go to bed, she doesn't want to be held in the normal cradling position. She wants to sit on my lap and lean her head back on me, or sit facing me and fold herself in half to lay forward on my chest. The latter is popular lately, because it means she can more easily beep my nose, do "bonk" (gentle headbump that serves as a hug), or give slobbery kisses. She likes being tickle-kissed on the collarbone, and will do all these things and get totally giggly... and then go directly to sleep as soon as I put her down.
Her hair is completely insane and hangs down past her nose in the front while being short in the back. The back and sides rubbed off and made bald patches before she could roll over, and have just recently grown in properly, while the stuff on top has been growing since she was born. (Reverse mullet!) Still, I could not bear to cut it! It makes the best pigtails!
(Note, at the time when I tell her "don't eat it", she's actually giving it kisses.)
Video below is a bit longer (2m), but really silly. "Nom non nom" = fooooood!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
According to Kibwana
Thanks guys. I didn't expect you all to see that so fast, so to get that taste out of your mouth:
Silly sayings I don't want to forget:
If he wants something, he says "too" after it: "Juice, too?" - even if no one else is having any. All drinks in a cup are juice, although if you tell him that it's water or soda he'll correct himself. He can remember which color cup he last drank out of and will tell you he wants pink juice or green juice, or blue milk (meaning milk in the cup with the blue lid).
He has a really difficult time starting words with s+ another consonant (st, sn, etc); snow comes out as "no". The snowmen nesting dolls he inherited from the girls are no-pims, for some reason, even though he can say snowmen (no men) if you make him. He also likes adding -sie as a nickname on everything, so the snowmen then become nobsie (nobe - zee).
humb yalla (umbrella), fats (fast), commission (construction),
Dizzyjissa [dear jesus], (incoherent mumbling), AIM-men.
He runs together verbs with whatever follows..... His favorite phrase for reading books lately is "Make-a lap, lookit together."
If he doesn't know, or wants to know, where something is, he just names the item and then adds "is?" at the end. "Backhoe, is?"
He listens reeeeeally closely to what we're saying, even when we don't think so. This results in him muttering "Oh Dunnit (darn it)", shouting "PENNY! CAGE! GOLAYDOWN!" at the dog, and so on. Luckily he hasn't noticed any really bad words (er.... umm... not that I evvvvvver say bad words. ahem.)...
He loves to repeat the words "example" and "amazing" for some reason. I was teasing him, asking him to copy "antidisestablishmentarianism" and got "(mumble mumble)ism". We loved it and repeated that for a few days, then stopped. A week later, my mom was asking him to say long words over the phone, and she and I ran out of words. I told her I couldn't think of any more long words. He responded "(mumblemumble)ism!"
He has been doing really good on the phone lately, and has been stringing together long sentences, or else long strings of short sentences. On the phone with Grandpa yesterday: "Seeya, gobbage twuck, today. Twuck big! Tooka, gobbage cans, away. Sawit today. OH my GOODness! Fiah twuck! Comin'! Goin' fats! Siyen yowd (siren loud)... nudda one comin'!"
Showing off all his favorite things: Backhoe/bulldozer, "mousie" the warthog, and R's sheepie. Also the welt on his forehead (freak thing over the weekend where a tiny umbrella stroller whacked him, must have been right on the vein. It swelled SO big at the time. But it's fine.)
Silly sayings I don't want to forget:
If he wants something, he says "too" after it: "Juice, too?" - even if no one else is having any. All drinks in a cup are juice, although if you tell him that it's water or soda he'll correct himself. He can remember which color cup he last drank out of and will tell you he wants pink juice or green juice, or blue milk (meaning milk in the cup with the blue lid).
He has a really difficult time starting words with s+ another consonant (st, sn, etc); snow comes out as "no". The snowmen nesting dolls he inherited from the girls are no-pims, for some reason, even though he can say snowmen (no men) if you make him. He also likes adding -sie as a nickname on everything, so the snowmen then become nobsie (nobe - zee).
humb yalla (umbrella), fats (fast), commission (construction),
Dizzyjissa [dear jesus], (incoherent mumbling), AIM-men.
He runs together verbs with whatever follows..... His favorite phrase for reading books lately is "Make-a lap, lookit together."
If he doesn't know, or wants to know, where something is, he just names the item and then adds "is?" at the end. "Backhoe, is?"
He listens reeeeeally closely to what we're saying, even when we don't think so. This results in him muttering "Oh Dunnit (darn it)", shouting "PENNY! CAGE! GOLAYDOWN!" at the dog, and so on. Luckily he hasn't noticed any really bad words (er.... umm... not that I evvvvvver say bad words. ahem.)...
He loves to repeat the words "example" and "amazing" for some reason. I was teasing him, asking him to copy "antidisestablishmentarianism" and got "(mumble mumble)ism". We loved it and repeated that for a few days, then stopped. A week later, my mom was asking him to say long words over the phone, and she and I ran out of words. I told her I couldn't think of any more long words. He responded "(mumblemumble)ism!"
He has been doing really good on the phone lately, and has been stringing together long sentences, or else long strings of short sentences. On the phone with Grandpa yesterday: "Seeya, gobbage twuck, today. Twuck big! Tooka, gobbage cans, away. Sawit today. OH my GOODness! Fiah twuck! Comin'! Goin' fats! Siyen yowd (siren loud)... nudda one comin'!"
Taken this morning. He is totally enamored with this box we found. I have no idea why.
Since it has been over 100 every day, we have to keep the AC as cool as possible at night (69-70) so that during the day it doesn't have to work so hard to stay at a reasonable temp (76-77). The kids are usually cold in the mornings, thus the fancy sweater.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Maybe you'd better check for that, too
Scene: Me rocking J to sleep with just the tiniest amount of light sneaking in the doorway. Lovey pillow had been draped over the chair, and I dropped it onto the ground because it was in the way of my head.
J, looking on floor: floors- lovey pabbow
D: Yes, that's the lovey pillow down there.
J: tail!
D: Yes, it has a tail. Do you have a tail?
J: feeling his bottom: Tail. [where] Is it?
D: Nooooo, you don't have a tail!
J: Missit! Tail missit!
D (barely contained laughter): Your tail is missing? Wow, bummer!
J: AW MANNNNN!!! Oh man, tail, missit!
D (prompting him to repeat after me with his common phrase): Oh well!
J: Penis?
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Marvelous, Magnificent Maddie
I never got to hug Maddie.
I never got to ruffle her sweet curls, give her a high five, kiss the scars that helped give her the short life that she did have.
Mike and Heather lost those things. They lost Maddie a year ago today, and lost all those ways to love her in person, too. The magnitude of that loss must make it incalculably hard to believe that she could really be gone, be not coming back.
Although my "loss" - simply losing the chance to ever meet her - is nothing compared to theirs, I wonder whether my level of disbelief, while infinitely less sharp and painful, could match theirs. You see, in the only way I ever "had" her, I still do.
I got to see her, in hundreds of pictures that her parents took. I saved off a couple dozen of them to my own computer, so that every time I open "My Pictures", I see her.
I got to hear her, on video, every Friday. I heard her laugh and sing. I heard her squeal in excitement. I still can.
It is so hard to look at the vivacious girl in those pictures and videos, and not think she's still over in California, jamming and making Mike and Heather laugh. It literally brings tears to my eyes when I remind myself that what I had - have - is all I'll ever get of her. But then I see it the other way: I still have her over here, in those ways, and in my heart and mind, and not only am I lucky to have that, I'm glad to be able to share Maddie with my kids and my friends for as long as there is someone to see.
(I don't own this photo; I uploaded it directly to save on hits to the originals, but this and many other awesome shots can be found at www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com or www.flickr.com/plasticcandy/)
I never got to ruffle her sweet curls, give her a high five, kiss the scars that helped give her the short life that she did have.
Mike and Heather lost those things. They lost Maddie a year ago today, and lost all those ways to love her in person, too. The magnitude of that loss must make it incalculably hard to believe that she could really be gone, be not coming back.
Although my "loss" - simply losing the chance to ever meet her - is nothing compared to theirs, I wonder whether my level of disbelief, while infinitely less sharp and painful, could match theirs. You see, in the only way I ever "had" her, I still do.
I got to see her, in hundreds of pictures that her parents took. I saved off a couple dozen of them to my own computer, so that every time I open "My Pictures", I see her.
I got to hear her, on video, every Friday. I heard her laugh and sing. I heard her squeal in excitement. I still can.
It is so hard to look at the vivacious girl in those pictures and videos, and not think she's still over in California, jamming and making Mike and Heather laugh. It literally brings tears to my eyes when I remind myself that what I had - have - is all I'll ever get of her. But then I see it the other way: I still have her over here, in those ways, and in my heart and mind, and not only am I lucky to have that, I'm glad to be able to share Maddie with my kids and my friends for as long as there is someone to see.
(I don't own this photo; I uploaded it directly to save on hits to the originals, but this and many other awesome shots can be found at www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com or www.flickr.com/plasticcandy/)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
My Prince is Two
Today is Kibwana's second birthday.
Last year:
This year:
He says well over a hundred words; too many for me to keep track of them all. Many of the words have been upgraded to the correct one or nearly so: cat, cow, sheep all upgraded from their respective noises, bokky [broccoli], (s)nuggle, (s)wing, apple, (ba)nana, book, okay...
...while others are still adorably not quite there yet: boggle (puzzle), packy (blankie), yaya (lovey [giraffe]), nana and gapo (grandma and grandpa), yago (yogurt), cut (truck), whee (slide), pissy (for paci and penis - i swear that was all his idea and no adult has encouraged it, but it makes us laugh), yeeyee (fan - from "ceiling" but applied to all fans or fanlike objects or noises), nun-num (m&m), ditdee (daddy), bob-eyes (french fries), vuf-foof (tv).
Favorite foods right now are cereal, crackers, yogurt, french frieds, and broccoli - and if given the choice, he has chosen broccoli over french fries AND cookies.
He does like muf-vufs though (muffin or cupcake)
He is currently obsessed with trains. Thomas the Tank Engine is a favorite because of his smiling happy face at the front of the engine. I HATE that tv show with a passion, but we do have some books and my folks got him a motorized one for his birthday. He also loves his puzzles and blocks.
He really likes letters, and knows perhaps 1/3 of the alphabet (let's see, A, B, C, D, G, H, M, O, P, Q, S, Y, Z - wow, I guess that's 1/2)! He can draw a rough circle, and identify major shapes.
His favorite phrases seem to be "Hep you" (help me), "Mama do eet", "Awwww, sett, baby ky...gackih?" (awww, sad, baby cry, fix it?), "awww, niiiiice....HUK" (followed by a grunt as he hugs whatever it was) and "go go? (where did it go), ee-iss! (here it is)"
I can't wait until the weather gets better, because we've been homebound for a few months and I know it's wearing on him. He loves to be outside, play with sticks, rustle leaves, drop acorns down the sewer, chase bubbles, go down the slide, and swing.
I just can't believe this
grew into this
and now this.
Sweet baby, big buddy. I love you!
Monday, February 22, 2010
FOOOOOOOOD
We call her Thunder Thighs. I LOVE IT. I hope that all my murmured endearments of "you have such a fat little butt, i love it, i love your fat legs you little chubby chubbo" (which usually breaks down into me nibbling on her)... anyhow I hope all that doesn't result in her growing up and getting fat on purpose to find a guy that repeats all these same endearments to her that she is starting out her life with.
ok it's 2am and i'm not sure that came out quite right, but i don't think i'm going to save and edit it - i want to make sure to squeeze in another post so you're not stuck with that last one, which was supposed to be more about trusting God to be a good parent (if he's perfect, then wouldn't that mean he's a better parent than me, and I know how dearly *I* love to please and care for my son, even if he doesn't realize that what I'm doing is making his life better/more fun because he's too focused on the short term OMG YOU SHUT THE DOOR WHEN I WANTED TO PLAY OUTSIDE stuff).... and less about my terrible pitiful house woes. Which suck, yeah, but life has to go on.
AND SO without further ado, at 2 am and sick of the seriousness, I present to you.... CHEEKY FACE!!!!
(all photos embiggen when clicked. as always.) First Biscuit:
(in this picture you'd like to think she is exclaiming in pleasure at the picture in the book. however, i think she is just preparing to shove the book in sidewise.)
and my favorite photo taken this month:
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